Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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