dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
