Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
