I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
