you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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