Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
