weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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