He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
