moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize