So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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