so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
