oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
