I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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