i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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