yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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