Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
