I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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