Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
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I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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