Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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