I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just cut my nipple shaving
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's great music for shaving your balls
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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