there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
