Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
