He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
