then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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