Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
