Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
