Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He has the fingertips of a God
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
