who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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