So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
