party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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