i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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