she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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