Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
