everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
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On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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