first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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