Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
