i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am naked and annoyed.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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