dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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