Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
