Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
