She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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