this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
