Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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