There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
