Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
