Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
