Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
