I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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