I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize