dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
