To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i now understand why vodka
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
