You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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