you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
