Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
