Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
sex in a hospital.. check
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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