I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
