I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
