So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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