Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
