Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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