I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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