the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
