Christians are straight up FREAKS
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
