I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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