Three words: puerto rican gang bang
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
