peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
