i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
