I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
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Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
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You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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