Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
