All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
