like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
