The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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