drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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